


Drunken Plan?  Seems Legit.

by somanyopentabs



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Best Friends, Crack, Drunkenness, F/F, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-01
Updated: 2012-06-01
Packaged: 2017-11-06 12:17:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/418841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somanyopentabs/pseuds/somanyopentabs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Saving the world is easy; flirting is hard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drunken Plan?  Seems Legit.

Tuesday

 

2:31

Dammit, Clint.

BW

 

2:33

What did I do now?

H

 

2:36

You changed your name in my phone to Batman.

BW

 

2:40

So? You changed all my ringtones. 

‘Sexy and I know it’ for Banner? 

Really?

H

 

2:42

Take a hint.

BW

 

2:44

What’s that supposed to mean?

H

 

2:50

Natasha?

H

 

2:57

Are you ignoring me?

H

 

3:23

Automated Message: The person you are trying to reach is either in a meeting, involved in some very important ass kicking, or both. She will return your text at the earliest convenience.

BW

 

3:25

You suck!

H

 

Wednesday

 

5:14

Hate you, Clint.

BW

 

5:17

What? Why? What did I do this time?

H

 

5:21

Remember Operation: Flirt with Hill?

BW

 

5:27

Of course! 

I remember all our drunken plans. 

How’s that going?

H

 

5:32

Mission failure. 

She thinks we’re dating.

BW

 

5:34

Wait, she thinks WE are dating? 

You and me?

H

 

5:35

Yes.

BW

 

5:37

D:

H

 

5:39

IKR??????!!!!!

BW

 

5:42

DDDDDD:

H

 

5:44

DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD:

BW

 

5:47

Sorry I cockblocked you.

H

 

5:50

Pussyblocked. 

There are no cocks involved. 

That’s kind of the point.

BW

 

5:55

Ugh. 

So how are we fixing this?

H

 

6:00

Stage a break-up?

BW

 

6:05

AWWW BABY DON’T BREAK UP WITH ME. 

H

 

6:10

Why do I have to be the bad guy and break up with you?

BW

 

6:14

We could say you got tired of my rugged good looks and charm.

H

 

6:25

Nat?

H

 

6:35

Automated Message: The person you are trying to reach is currently dying of lolz. Please try again later.

BW

 

6:40

Fine, be that way!

H

 

 

Thursday

 

7:17

Banner’s been giving me sympathetic looks all day.

H

 

7:21

So? 

Go cry on his shoulder.

BW

 

7:30

But we didn’t really break up!

H

 

7:31

He does have nice shoulders.

H

 

7:33

But I don’t want him to feel sorry for me.

H

 

7:40

What should I do?

H

 

7:42

Never mind, Tony’s going to try to cure my broken heart with an impromptu trip to Vegas.

H

 

7:45

You’re welcome.

BW

 

 

Friday

 

10:45

OMG NAT. OMG OMG OMG.

H

 

10:46

I SWEAR TO GOD WOMAN ANSWER MY TEXTS.

H

 

10:47

What’s wrong?

BW

 

10:49

Bruce came with us to Vegas.

H

 

10:55

Don’t tell me you lost Banner.

BW

 

 

10:57

THIS ISN’T THE HANGOVER NAT. THIS IS REAL LIFE. OMG WHYYYYY.

H

 

11:00

Stop being overdramatic and tell me what happened.

BW

 

11:10

I may have kissed him? 

Oh god kill me now.

H

 

11:15

So what’s the problem?

BW

 

11:24

I was drunk! 

You know how I am when I’m drunk!

H

 

11:30

Like a clingy octopus?

BW

 

11:35

EXACTLY.

H

 

11:40

Oh god he’s coming this way.

H

 

 

11:42

Gotta go hide. ttyl.

H

 

 

Saturday

 

 

4:34

Status report re: Dr Banner?

BW

 

4:50

Operation ‘hide in a broom closet whenever he walks by’ is in progress.

H

 

4:53

Why don’t you just go talk to him?

BW

 

4:57

Because of reasons.

H

 

 

5:10

Yeah, well, let me know if you find your balls while you’re hiding in that closet, Clint.

BW

 

5:15

Shut up. I’ll let you know if I find your sense of empathy while I’m in here, though.

H

 

Sunday

 

11:33

I have never been so happy for an alien invasion.

H

 

11:44

You’re not going to be able to use the ‘sorry, too busy defeating skrulls’ excuse forever, Clint. 

You’re going to have to talk to him eventually.

BW

 

 

Monday

 

 

3:54

I talked to him!

H

 

 

3:57

And?

BW

 

 

4:03

I think I said something like: lskjdflskdjflsjfshghjkwheiflkdsnfsldf

H

 

 

4:05

Then I ran away.

H

 

4:10

Why am I friends with you again?

BW

 

 

4:14

Because you looooooooooooooooove me?

H

 

 

4:21

Dork.

BW

 

 

Tuesday

 

8:43

I’m so druknk.

H

 

8:45

I know. You’re sitting right next to me.

BW

 

 

9:00

Do u think bruce likes me at all

H

 

 

9:05

Yes.

BW

 

 

9:10

Reallyy??

H

 

 

9:15

Yes, really.

BW

 

 

9:20

u know what? im gona go talk to him rihgt now

H

 

 

9:25

Are you sure? 

You’re pretty drunk.

BW

 

 

9:30

liquid courage!!!!

H

 

 

Wednesday

 

 

9:43

Hey Nat.

H

 

9:47

Any idea why I just woke up in Bruce’s bed?

Not that I'm complaining.

H

 

 

9:50

You didn’t draw dicks on my face in permanent marker again did you?

H

 

 

9:53

Why am I wearing Thor’s cape?

H

 

 

9:57  
The answers are no, not this time, and I think I heard you shouting that you wanted to borrow it for extra courage.  
BW

 

 

10:00

Huh. 

Thor may not want this cape back until I can get it dry-cleaned.

H

 

10:02

LOL.

BW

 

10:06

So apparently Bruce is cuddly in the morning. 

TTYL.

H


End file.
